I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize