David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize