Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
