8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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