was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Mom said you looked used
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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