just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
