just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
