Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just found puke in my bra..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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