Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
