Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
