grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
