i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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