we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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