she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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