i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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