On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize