I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
