Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I didn't shave. On purpose
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They took my balls.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
