I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
