Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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