even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
