Where did you get a picture of my penis
Quick, to the slutcave!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
