I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
