just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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