my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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