The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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