Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
