I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
her vagine was all disorganized.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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