I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
