Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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