Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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