I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize