If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
