dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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