How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize