SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
