he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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