My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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