Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
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Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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