its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
