I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
