i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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