i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
