My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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