at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
