im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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