we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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