i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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