So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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