I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
