party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
