and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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