he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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