You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize