Apparently you make a good broom.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
