So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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