if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
