Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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