Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
